My China Experience | Almost 3 months in | “I need you to sleep with my boyfriend.”

Now before I go into detail of the bizibu regarding the title of this entry, I really cannot stress how surreal being in China actually is. From my insane nights out filled with endless free drinks to my unforgivable 8.30am Mandarin classes, which I manage to drag myself to even after a night out. 

I often find myself lying in bed just laughing. In fact my room mate and I do that a lot. Usually when we reminisce on the night before, the only appropriate reaction is laughter, because our nights are just so silly.


From meeting another Ugandan girl in the club with the same name as me, after I’ve been in China almost 3 months and never so much as met another East African, let alone Ugandan WITH THE SAME NAME AS ME, to getting scrambled egg all over the back seat of a taxi, to meeting a Sturridge look-a-like from South East London.  

The oddest night however was my most recent outing to the club.


“I need you to sleep with my boyfriend”, this girl insisted. “I found out he’s been cheating on me so now I just want him to have fun.”

I didn’t know this girl. I had never met her before and I never caught her name. I was dumbfounded.

Amidst my drunkenness, I tried really hard to find the correlation in this girl’s reasoning. So you have found out that your boyfriend has been cheating on you, and so now you want me to sleep with him? WHAT THE?

First of all, I get Macau is renown for its legal prostitution and what not, but count me out please. I genuinely failed to understand why someone who found out their boyfriend has been unfaithful would want him to sleep with someone else. 

She pulled me aside to “explain” to me what she wanted and why, but none of it seemed to make any sense. In fact, whether it did or not would have been irrelevant because I was not going to be sleeping with anyone. 

A part of me wanted to console her for what she’d found out about her boyfriend but she did not seem upset at all. She kept telling me to never trust anyone, not even my family. So definitely not her right? 

“You’re hot, pretty, great body.. You’re perfect.” I wasn’t taking any of these remarks as a compliment though. What made her think I would accept her ludicrous request? I think because of my intoxication however, I found it hard to be stern with her. We went back to the dance floor and she kept on easing me towards her boyfriend. Even he seemed confused. 

“Dance on him a bit”, she urged. “Go nearer to him.”  


Whatever sick and twisted fantasy revenge plan this girl had conjured up in her head, I wanted no part in it. Despite my intoxication, I managed to part from them eventually and reunite with my roommate. 

The rest of the night was great though. We met a couple Egyptian men who clearly just wanted to spend their money on us and some Chinese who wouldn’t stop taking selfies with us, but were also kind enough to keep the drinks flowing. I also met a Swahili speaking Filipino, who’d just moved here from Qatar. He seemed more surprised that I understood a little Swahili than me who was gobbed that he actually spoke it.


Apart from the odd encounter with that girl and her boyfriend, that’s pretty much a typical night out here in Macau. Always meeting new and amazing people. I think I’m going to retire from alcohol for a bit now though, my body is in need of a full recovery. 


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